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Rude Gifts

  • Blue Q | You're Fucking Welcome Socks-Homing Instincts
    Blue Q | You're Fucking Welcome Socks-Homing Instincts
    Original price $24.99 - Original price $24.99
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    Blue Q | You're Fucking Welcome Socks

    Blue Q

    You're fucking welcome, and you're fucking welcome, everybody's fucking welcome, OK?!  Features: Women's shoe size 5-10. 53% combed cotton, 44% ...

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  • Blue Q | Eat The S*** Out Of Plants Tea Towel-Blue Q-Homing Instincts
    Blue Q | Eat The S*** Out Of Plants Tea Towel-Blue Q-Homing Instincts
    Original price $27.99 - Original price $27.99
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    Blue Q | Eat The S*** Out Of Plants Tea Towel

    Blue Q

    How many times do I have to ask you to not curse in front of the giraffe?! You know she's just going to repeat everything you say. Features: Su...

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  • Blue Q | Takes No Shit Socks-Homing Instincts-Homing Instincts
    Blue Q | Takes No Shit Socks-Homing Instincts-Homing Instincts
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    Blue Q | Takes No Shit Socks

    Blue Q

    She will take extra sprinkles, though, if you have them. Maybe a cherry, too? Women's shoe size 5-10. 57% nylon; 41% combed cotton; 2% spandex.

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  • You Have to F**king Eat Book-Brumby Sunstate-Homing Instincts
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    You Have to F**king Eat Book

    Brumby Sunstate

    From the author of the international bestseller GO THE F**K TO SLEEP comes a book about the other great parental frustration: getting your little a...

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  • Stress Relief Turd-MDI-Homing Instincts
    Stress Relief Turd-MDI-Homing Instincts
    Original price $16.99 - Original price $16.99
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    Stress Relief Turd

    MDI

    Hilarious turd-shaped stress toy Give it a squeeze and feel your worries melt away Great for when you're having a crappy day Product dimension app...

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    Original price $16.99 - Original price $16.99
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  • Blue Q | Creative Little F***er Men's Socks-Blue Q-Homing Instincts
    Blue Q | Creative Little F***er Men's Socks-Blue Q-Homing Instincts
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    Blue Q | Creative Little F***er Men's Socks

    Blue Q

    Features: Men's shoe size 7-12. 57% combed cotton; 40% nylon; 3% spandex.

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  • Blue Q| Anxious and Sexy Socks (Women)-Blue Q-Homing Instincts
    Blue Q| Anxious and Sexy Socks (Women)-Blue Q-Homing Instincts
    Original price $22.99 - Original price $22.99
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    Blue Q| Anxious and Sexy Socks (Women)

    Blue Q

    Women's shoe size 5-10. - 55% nylon - 43% combed cotton - 2% spandex.

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  • That's a Spicy Meatball Toilet Spray-Wanderflower-Homing Instincts
    Original price $29.99 - Original price $29.99
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    That's a Spicy Meatball Toilet Spray

    Wanderflower

    A modern-day solution to an old-world issue. May your treasured memories linger, and your unpleasant aromas be history. Orange and rosewater scent....

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  • Blue Q | Don't Make Mummy Be a Bitch Socks (Women)-Blue Q-Homing Instincts
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    Blue Q | Don't Make Mummy Be a Bitch Socks (Women)

    Blue Q

    Most of the time, I've got all the patience in the world. Other times, I've got abso-fucking-lutely none of it. Not a speck. Women's shoe size 5-...

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  • Brumby Sunstate (bs) | Grateful AF-Brumby Sunstate-Homing Instincts
    Brumby Sunstate (bs) | Grateful AF-Brumby Sunstate-Homing Instincts
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    Grateful AF Gratitude Cards

    Brumby Sunstate

    It’s a gratitude list in a box! 100 gratitude cards for potty mouths (delinquents and good humans alike) who want to work on their personal develop...

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  • Blue Q | Fun Person Alert Socks-Blue Q-Homing Instincts
    Blue Q | Fun Person Alert Socks-Blue Q-Homing Instincts
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    Blue Q | Fun Person Alert Men's Socks

    Blue Q

    MOVE OUTTA THE WAY! Fun Person coming through!  Features: Men's shoe size 7-12. 50% combed cotton; 48% nylon; 2% spandex.

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  • Spencer Flynn | Kama Socktra Men's Socks-Spencer Flynn-Homing Instincts
    Spencer Flynn | Kama Socktra Men's Socks-Spencer Flynn-Homing Instincts
    Original price $19.99 - Original price $19.99
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    Spencer Flynn | Kama Socktra Men's Socks

    Spencer Flynn

    Kama Socktra Features: U.S. men's sock size 10-13 50% combed cotton, 48% nylon, 2% lycra

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  • Blue Q | Toothbrush - Showers Can Go F**k Themselves. I Like a Bath-Blue Q-Homing Instincts
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    Blue Q | Toothbrush - Showers Can Go F**k Themselves. I Like a Bath

    Blue Q

    SHOWERS CAN GO F**K THEMSELVES. I LIKE A BATH.   Enough with these freakin' showers, ok? What's so great about time and water efficiency? I'll wait...

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  • Blue Q | Grumpy Old Man Apron-Homing Instincts
    Blue Q | Grumpy Old Man Apron-Homing Instincts
    Original price $69.99 - Original price $69.99
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    Blue Q | Grumpy Old Man Apron

    Blue Q

    Back in my day we didn't even have aprons, we just wiped our dirty hands on our shirts. Made from soft, extra-sturdy, 100% heavy cotton twill. Extr...

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    Original price $69.99 - Original price $69.99
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  • Name and Shame: Shameful Internet Search Expansion Pack-Homing Instincts-Homing Instincts
    Name and Shame: Shameful Internet Search Expansion Pack-Homing Instincts-Homing Instincts
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    Name and Shame: Shameful Internet Search Expansion Pack

    Homing Instincts

    An expansion for Name & Shame with rules to play as a standalone game. Contains embarrassing internet search scenarios. 80 cards.

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  • MDI | Stealth Mobile Phone Flask-MDI-Homing Instincts
    MDI | Stealth Mobile Phone Flask-MDI-Homing Instincts
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    MDI | Stealth Mobile Phone Flask

    MDI

    Hide your booze in plain sight!   Features: Flask that looks and feels just like a smart phone Comes with a small funnel to easily fill the flask...

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  • Blue Q | F**king Delicious Oven Mitt-Blue Q-Homing Instincts
    Blue Q | F**king Delicious Oven Mitt-Blue Q-Homing Instincts
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    Original price $29.99 - Original price $29.99
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    Blue Q | F**king Delicious Oven Mitt

    Blue Q

    Of course it's delicious - you made it! Why? Does someone dare doubt your culinary prowess? Want me to beat them up? Features:  Super-insulated. ...

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  • MDI | Jesus Soap-MDI-Homing Instincts
    MDI | Jesus Soap-MDI-Homing Instincts
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    MDI | Jesus Soap

    MDI

    Wash away your sins one soap at a time. Features: Soap bar with Jesus design Wash away your sins- literally! Great gag gift for the sinners

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  • Penis Mug-Gift Republic-Homing Instincts
    Penis Mug-Gift Republic-Homing Instincts
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    Penis Mug

    Gift Republic

    Celebrate what mother nature has given you with the Penis Mug, with many shapes and sizes to keep you entertained as you have your morning coffee. ...

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  • Blue Q | I'll Feed All You F***ers Apron-Blue Q-Homing Instincts
    Blue Q | I'll Feed All You F***ers Apron-Blue Q-Homing Instincts
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    Original price $69.99 - Original price $69.99
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    Blue Q | I'll Feed All You F***ers Apron

    Blue Q

    Watch out! I've got a spatula and I'm not afraid to use it! Features:  Made from soft, extra-sturdy, 100% heavy cotton twill. Extra-long waist ti...

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    Original price $69.99 - Original price $69.99
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  • Spencer Flynn | Nylon Nudists Women's Socks-Spencer Flynn-Homing Instincts
    Spencer Flynn | Nylon Nudists Women's Socks-Spencer Flynn-Homing Instincts
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    Spencer Flynn | Nylon Nudists Womens Socks

    Spencer Flynn

    Nylon Nudists Features: U.S. women's sock size 9-11 50% combed cotton, 48% nylon, 2% lycra

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  • F**k Now There Are Two Of You-Brumby Sunstate-Homing Instincts
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    F**k Now There Are Two Of You

    Brumby Sunstate

    Features: Author: Mansbach, Adam and Brozman, Owen  Publisher: Text Hardback ISBN: 9781922268341 Publish Date: 1/10/2019 Page Count: 32

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  • Blue Q | Meeting is Bullshit-Blue Q-Homing Instincts
    Blue Q | Meeting is Bullshit-Blue Q-Homing Instincts
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    Blue Q | Meeting is Bullshit

    Blue Q

    I hate to be the one to break it to you... NOT! Features: Women's shoe size 5-10. 69% combed cotton; 30% nylon; 1% spandex.

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Here at Homing Instincts, we’ve got rude gifts galore. We’ve got rude gifts with swear words on them, like f**k, s**t, w*nker and b**ch. We’ve got rude gifts adorned with private parts, and some even shaped like them too. These presents aren’t just funny though, they can be highly functional too. Some are socks, others tea towels. Some are planters, mugs, mittens, soap and signs. Browse our full collection for more!

Get Socked!

We love socks. Socks are great. Sure, they keep your feet warm, but they can make a statement too. Graphic socks can help you to express your personality, your opinions and your pet peeves. When it comes to getting someone a rude gift, socks are a stellar choice. We stock socks from Blue Q and Spencer Flynn and they’re pretty fun. Some of our all–time favourite phrases include ‘B**ch I Am Relaxed’, ‘This Meeting Is Bulls**t’, ‘I’m A Delicate F**king Flower’, ‘There Are Assholes Everywhere’ & ‘Calm Your Tits’.

Bums, Boobs & Balls!

Now, nothing says rude gifts like rude parts, am I right?! So if cheeky is what you’re after, you’ve come to the right place. We have a bunch of body part presents on offer in–store and online, most notably from homewares brand Jones & Co and novelty gift gurus MDI. If your friend or family member likes to crack a joke (get it, crack?) a backside shaped plant pot is perfect. If your mate wants a mug with muffs, breasts or ‘penis’ written all over it, you guessed it, we’ve got that too!